Govt. Coalition Found to Have Been Built Using "Pal-Kal" Method
July 3rd 2001
Severe and dangerous cracks have been discovered in central foundations of Ariel Sharon’s broad-based Coalition government.
A thorough inspection of the cabinet was carried out recently by building engineers and experts in construction inspection, in the wake of Peres' threat to resign. The "Pal-Kal" construction method uses a broad government made up from politicians with thin personalities, interspaced with layers of high salaries and official cars. This method was banned in the 1990s because governments formed this way were too unstable to last full-term, and too expensive for the tax-payers..
Over 300 people had been invited to join the Cabinet by Ariel Sharon after the last election, and when they all finally took their seats at the Cabinet Table, the Knesset hall collapsed, leaving a pile of bitter politicians and arguing deputies squabbling in the rubble.
The most serious defects were found in the Sharon’s own swivel chair recently built by a heavy engineering company from Tel Aviv.
One of the engineers called upon to sum up the inspection, reportedly demanded that the Cabinet be moved onto more solid ground before the whole country collapsed under the weight of Knesset expense accounts, according to an Army Radio report.
Some 48 brand-new offices serving MKs will be unusable due to the decision, including 6 built specially to house Shimon Peres’ ego, and 5 constructed just to hold a printed copy of the list of potential junior cabinet ministers in the event of further expansion of the government.
Several supporting walls in the area of the Cabinet Office are reportedly shored up with coalition policy statements and vague political promises, the report said, in fear that politcal fall-out could fall on passers-by.
A similar gathering of hangers-on fell during the latter days of Ehud Barak’s administration.
The Knesset administration has filled the basement with expense claims receipts and old press releases of speeches by former minister Ben Ami, to help prevent the collapse.
One month after the Versailles banquet hall collapse, senior engineers from the Technion and the Israel Standards Institute have deemed it too dangerous to even conduct Government business in the building even if a replacement cabinet is cobbled together using traditional methods.
(Modified by Michael Jacobs from an article about the near-collpase of the Knesset Building in Jerusalem, reported in the Jerusalem Post on July 3, 2001). With apologies to The Jerusalem Post - from whose article this spoof was adapted (I am sure that they have a sense of humour...)